Thoughts On The Election (Waiting For The Apocalypse)

So..
This guy is President Of The United States.

Yes. Our new President is Donald Trump.

Former Owner of Trump Steaks (Sold through Sharper Image)
Former Owner of GoTrump Travel Agency
Former Owner of Trump Airlines
Former Owner of Trump Vodka
Former Owner of Trump Mortgage - “I’ve been hearing about this bubble for so many years from you and everybody else in your world, but I haven’t seen it. I will let you know when I see it.”
Former Owner of Trump: The Boardgame
Former Owner of Trump Magazine
Former Owner of Trump University LOL
Former Owner of Trump Ice Water
Former Owner of the Tour De Trump Bicycle Race
Former Owner of Trump On The Ocean
Former Owner of the Trump Network- Vitamin Pyramid Scheme
Former Owner of the Trumped: Radio Show
Former Owner of Trump New Media

The Man who vowed to make the USFL great again.
The Man who is the only Presidential Candidate in history to receive a Stone Cold Stunner
The Man who shocked the world by announcing Arsenio Hall as winner of Celebrity Apprentice: Season 12

Donald J. Trump.

Wow.

Love him or hate him...
You gotta admit that this is insane.

Like...really fucking insane.

He rose to power by pledging to build a wall, and by assuring the county that neither his hands or his penis were small.

He insulted nearly every single race of people on the planet.
He insulted an entire gender. Numerous times.
This man was getting into Twitter wars like a Belieber on a sugar high.

The Democrats could have picked just about anybody and won easily.
Instead, they let Hillary Clinton steal the nomination. (I do mean steal. Literally)

It seemed like Hillary was going to coast to the White House though.
Until election night, that is.

What a surreal night.
It's hard to compare it to anything else.
I guess it's like Donald Trump becoming the President of America.

I'm going to talk about the aftermath of this election at length in an upcoming article.
(This shit writes itself.)

Trump's supporters loved how he would "tell it like it is."
They loved how he wasn't a politician.
They consider him an outsider who was gonna "shake up Washington."

Lately, his supporters have been shouting "drain the swamp" at his rallies, referring to Washington insiders and lobbyists.
Well, judging by his cabinet picks recently, Trump may think "drain the swamp" means "throw more shit into the swamp."

I want to talk about a few different topics related to this election, so let's get into it.

COMEDY

What a beautiful artform.
Without laughter, a couple of us might be doing a Triple Lindy off a building when life gets rough.
Making people laugh is truly a gift.

I love hearing comedians talk about politics.
Maybe because at its core, politics is a fucking joke.

Hearing George Carlin talk about voting.
Hearing Bill Hicks talking about our foreign policy.

My God. These men were absolute geniuses.
What I wouldn't give to hear their thoughts on this election.
I am literally laughing out loud just thinking about it.

The true masters of the craft can find humor in anything.
Tragedy, loss, or in this case, impending doom.

On Election night Joe Rogan and Doug Stanhope put together a live podcast from The Comedy Store in Los Angeles.
The podcast was titled "End Of The World." How fitting.
Rogan and Stanhope were joined by Bill Burr and Bert Kreischer.
Over the course of the night they were joined by a ton of other comics.
They were sounding off on a variety of topics as the election results came in.

Listen or watch if you haven't already.
GOLD.

Now these comics know that when Donald Trump is up against Hillary Clinton for title of Leader Of The Free World....
WE'RE FUCKED.

But, guess what?
For almost 4 hours they were hilarious.
FINDING HUMOR IN THINGS.
Because, well you know, THEY'RE FUCKING COMEDIANS.

Elsewhere on Election Night, comedians all over America embarrased themselves.
Hate to be that guy but I'm not going to name them.

Why? Because. After that night, these comedians no longer deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as the legends I listed above.

I'm talking brilliant comics who would break down the Bush war machine so perfectly.
I'm talking brilliant comics who I loved and respected for pushing the envelope.

They were on Twitter that night crying for Hillary Rodham FUCKING Clinton.

It was a real scene.

"Guys just tell your friends and family you love them. We'll get through this together."
"Poor Hillary. She deserved this, you know."

Please get the entire fuck out of here.

CELEBRITIES

While we're on the topic of people embarrassing themselves on Election Night.
Let's talk Celebrities.

"I guess this country just isn't ready to see a woman in a position of power."

Yeah, you're right. I'm positive that if we go back to 2008 you guys weren't completely shitting on Sarah Palin at every opportunity.
FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME DEFEND SARAH PALIN
^More on this very very soon.

"I'm moving to Canada!"

I literally could not care less.
WAIT! GUYS! RAVEN SYMONE IS GONNA LEAVE! FIND OUT WHO SHE WANTS US TO VOTE FOR!
(Still waiting for Al Sharpton, Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer, Amber Rose, Whoopi Goldberg, and Miley Cyrus to leave btw.)

"What do I tell my daughter?"

Tell her this.
Don't grow up to resemble Hillary Clinton in any shape form or fashion.

Celebrities have a voice.
Especially in this social media era.
They can truly use their position to make a difference.

Do you know what they did instead?

I saw numerous celebrities shaming people for voting third party.
YOU FUCKING MORONS.

The Two Party system has worked so well huh?
Even thinking about an alternative option is sacrilegious?

46% of eligible voters couldn't be bothered.
Thousands of people voted for Harambe.

Yet, Jill Stein and Gary Johnson supporters foiled your plans.

"This was her job. She earned it."

Ooohhh...Let's get into this one.

HILLARY CLINTON
Guys.

You are either going to do your research or keep your heads in the sand.

I can understand why someone would not want to support Donald Trump.

With that being said...
Please. Please. Please do not try and tell me she is the lesser of two evils.

Vince Foster.
Travelgate.
IRS & FBI Backgrounds Scandal.
Norman Hsu.
Jorge Cabrera.
Sniper Fire.
Whitewater.
Clinton Foundation.
Benghazi.
Cattle Money.
DNC/Debbie Wasserman Schultz
Speeches.
Chinagate.
Pardongate.
Clinton Body Count.
Iranian Fundraising.
Peter Franklin Paul.

Aaaand. The e-mails!

"Well, she was found not guilty."
Yeah, so was Casey Anthony. Go drop your kid off at her house.

We all know she was negligent.
We all know she compromised our nation's security by using an unsecured server.

NOT GUILTY.

Ok. Fine.
It's America.
We all know you're innocent until proven broke.

"Hillary was found not guilty. Donald Trump said he was gonna grab my pussy!"

Ok. Good point.
How about the actual e-mails she sent?
Like the actual content of the e-mails?

OH MY GOD JR! THAT'S JULIAN ASSANGE'S MUSIC!!!

Enter Wikileaks.
Oh do I love me some Wikileaks.

(You could not make up the Wikileaks Saga if you tried.
A marked man holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy exposing our whole democracy as a sham.)

Wikileaks was great when they were exposing the Bush Crime family right?

Now?

Not so much.

"Oh it's the Russians"
"Why don't they release stuff about Trump?"

Let's try again.
Let's discuss the actual content of the emails.

She stole the Democratic nomination from Bernie Sanders.
She received 150 Million Dollars from the Rothschild family. (She then asked the Rothschild family what her "penance" was. Bruhhhhhhhhh)
She was actively arming Islamic jihadists including ISIS
She spearheaded an effort to have Al Queda/ISIS with the assistance of the CIA try and topple the Assad regime in Syria
She urged people to lie about her true Intentions in regards to Libya/Ghaddafi (and talked about overthrowing Ghadaffi in an unsecured email.)

Wait. I could do this all day.
Again. You're gonna open your eyes or keep your head in the sand.

But please dont expect me to shed any tears that this thing lost the election.

I think that's gonna do it.
In summary, Donald FUCKING Trump is our president, and people are making Hillary FUCKING Clinton out to be a victim.

I'll be back soon to talk about how politics have turned you into cult members and my thoughts and feelings about thoughts and feelings.





Thanks for reading!
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I can be reached by email Bronxboogiebx@yahoo.com
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