Addiction

Addiction.



It's like looking up at the sun from the ocean floor.
You'd love nothing more than to reach the surface, but you
grab as many cinder blocks as you can carry before you start
swimming up.

It's a sickness where you seek out germs instead of medicine.

It's like swinging from a rope off the side of a cliff, trying to convince your loved ones you're not cutting the rope, even though
they can clearly see the knife in your hand.

It's where rock bottom feels like home.

It's wearing the same disguise day after day, convincing yourself no one can see all the rips and tears.

It's taking an inventory of all your loved ones that you will lose,
and then rolling the dice that they'll all stick around.

It could be cocaine. Alcohol. Chocolate. Sex. Looking at your smartphone.
Sugar. Cigarettes. Heroin. Risking your mortgage payment on a Middle
Tennessee football game. Pornography. Money. Working out.

It's stealing from your family to get a fix. It's sticking a cigarette into a hole in your throat.

Is it a gene?
Is it a flaw?
Does everyone have an addiction?
Maybe everyone has a propensity to be addicted. Maybe some people are just
fortunate enough to never find their vice.

Have you ever looked at someone you've known for decades and don't recognize them?
Have you ever heard a ludicrous lie, but for some reason pretended it was the truth?
Have you ever been about to say "Suboxone is an addiction too," but bit your tongue?

Have you ever just felt completely powerless?
It could be you dealing with your own addiction, or dealing with the fallout from
somebody else's.
You're not alone.

Have you ever said your final goodbye to somebody months or years before their funeral?

Usually, I try to make my readers or myself laugh.
Maybe next time.